Today I wrote about ten college-paper (read: double-spaced) pages. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that and liked it. I loved researching and writing in college (okay, I didn’t always love writing, but I enjoyed the finished product), and I HATED it in grad school. HATED. Because nothing I produced was really useful. However, I had the opportunity today to help with a spur-of-the-moment, we-need-it-today research project at work. Things are often an emergency at my work: IT MUST BE TODAY! I just have to get on board and be available. So I did. I just hope what I wrote is what was wanted. If it’s not, then it’s close.
It doesn’t have to be perfect–but I was available, I was willing, and I finished the task set before me. And that counts for something. It’s days like this that I really like my life: being single, no children, no appointments (except Starbucks Mondays), few commitments. Because that is my life, I can drop everything to work on something that’s really important. And adding my writing to the load takes the weight of others. And I prove myself faithful.
Four more days.
This was supposed to be published on March 10. It wasn’t. It’s now March 29. WordPress, you fail. When I hit publish, I want you to publish. I shouldn’t need to triple check that a post has published.
I’m in the midst of writing my literature review of my senior seminar. I should be working on that instead of writing this. However, I am distracted.
I’m only 10 days into March 2010 and already my life is vastly different from February 28, from January 31, from December 31. I knew March 2010 would change my life and it will continue to do so. Some of these March 2010 days are harder than others.
Too much is floating around in my head. This is unfortunate, because I’d like my thoughts to focus on this ginormous project I’m attempting to complete. Other people’s problems and crazy, world events, classes that are wasting my time, arguments and frustration with the Lord, heart confusion, my own crazy, and more are competing with my researching and writing on church ministry to children with special needs.
I’m trying to enjoy the process, the journey, the path. Right now, I’d like to put my responsibilities on pause and just do something completely crazy.
Alas. I don’t have time for that.