There Can Only Be One Amy

The Girl Who Waited is an upsetting episode of Doctor Who. It is also more awesome on a large television.

It amazes me how much stories that are absurd can feel so real and possible. I will never come upon time traveling situations, I won’t travel in a Tardis, I don’t have a Rory, there is no such thing as Appalapachia… But it feels real, and that’s what matters. I don’t know why it matters, but it’s important to me.

On Occasion

Waiting can sometimes pay off.
In fact, it almost always does, it’s just ridiculously difficult to remember that.
God is always faithful. People sometimes are faithful.
Sometimes I have to wait for things I want, need.

Today I’m thankful for waiting.
I’m thankful for a day off.
I’m thankful that our biggest event of the year went amazingly well.
I’m thankful that that event, MiniLaps, raised $350,000, more money than has ever been raised before for ML.
I’m thankful that the money means the whole staff at my delightful ministry will continue to be paid.
I’m thankful that even if we did have money troubles, I wouldn’t need to worry because of my faithful God and my amazing parents.
I’m thankful that people who have said no to giving to the LLH have started to say yes, in big ways.
I’m thankful God changes the minds of kings.
I’m thankful that my best friend lives a mile from me.
I’m thankful that I’m happy. I don’t think that’s God’s main goal for my life…but it’s delightful when it happens.

Me with my Apple Doll friend

I mean, really, look at that face. How can I not be happy spending my days with children like him?

Waiting Is Hard

I know waiting is hard.

My students’ attention spans can be the size of gnats, so I repeat that statement many, many times over the course of the school day.  Waiting for a turn to spell a name, waiting for snack, waiting for a spot in the bathroom, waiting for another classroom to leave the gym, waiting for an activity to start, waiting for other friends to behave, waiting for lunch, waiting for parents to arrive, and on and on it goes.  They react to waiting in so many different ways: screaming, crying, kicking, talking incessantly, and even running away.  I talk to them over and over again about the difficulty of waiting and that I understand. But they forget, so I keep reminding.

One would think that this perpetual lesson in waiting would help me remember that waiting is a struggle common to all. It’s an inevitable part of life. Sometimes I can handle waiting with no problem, content in the moment.

Other times I just want some things to HAPPEN already. There are so many things on the periphery of my life that I want moved to the center, but they remain stubbornly on the outside. I want to know how to prepare for my next steps since I will not be an assistant forever, but the steps remain hidden.

Patience has never been my strong suit.

Waiting?

In a quest to find a new graduate program, I have discovered what I already knew: Getting a master’s degree in something in which I’m really interested is expensive. Anything remotely ministry-inclined is more than twice as much as the degree I’m quitting. I find this to be ridiculous.  How can master’s degrees in fields specifically non-profit be so expensive?  Hello? I won’t be making any money with this degree?

I don’t want to go into more debt just to get a master’s degree.  But I don’t really see a way around it/  I’ve read a lot about avoiding debt and I’m totally on board with that. It’s just so unavoidable.

I’ve read about how Christian women my age who want to someday get married and eventually stay at home with their kids shouldn’t acquire debt because they won’t be able to pay it off.  There are two problems with that statement to me: someday and eventually.  I’m not going to put off graduate school for someday or eventually.

I believe in being prudent, planning for the future (whoa how I plan), etc, but I don’t believe in just twiddling my thumbs. I have no prospects in the young man department. None. Whatsoever. I’m not waiting around for nothing.  I don’t think God wants me to wait for nothing. I just don’t know what I’m waiting for or what I should do/what I should spend while I’m waiting.

Live every week like it’s shark week [Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock]